Will Somebody Just Control These GUNS?
By Katheryn Reich
Published 04. 29. 02 at 20:37 Sierra Time

http://www.sierratimes.com/02/04/30/edfun043002.htm

Daley says gun-rights group will be liable

Makes complete sense. As you all know, GUNS cannot be trusted.
Why, just the other day, I was visiting my brother and a wild gun crawled
out of his room. I thought for sure it was going to get me or one of the
kids, but luckily, I managed to beat it off with a pan.
I yelled for him to come get it, and it only took him ’bout a half hour to
trap the nasty thing and put it back where it belonged.

You wouldn’t believe where the darn things hide either. I’ve occasionally
opened drawers and found a handgun in there, just poised to strike. I’ve
always managed to get the drawer shut quick enough to avoid being injured
though.

The people that own the things are just flat nuts to keep horrible pets like
that on the premises. Course, most of the owners are none too sane, I often
find them wandering about muttering about their guns and drooling.

Why, just the other day, I was at some sort of meeting where the whole group
showed up carrying concealed. I was lucky to escape with my life, what with
all those wild guns jumping all over the place, and the deranged gun owners
shooting up the place and all.
It’s a darn shame what guns do to those people too. Before they got their
nasty pets they were the nicest people, not all wild eyed and shooting at
anything that moves. They’re a down right twitchy group now, practicing
their quick draw, and twirling their guns, pointing them at stuff and all.

Irresponsible I must say!

I don’t know what they teach them in those gun classes they take, but it
can’t be good.

Why, those guns should probably be locked up in a zoo or something. I don’t
know who would want to see them, but somebody might. We just can’t have them
slithering about all over and frightening honest people by jumping out at
them.

Sam Adams reportedly told some British sympathizers:

If you love wealth greater than liberty, the tranquility of servitude
greater than the animating contest for freedom, go home and leave us in
peace. We seek not your council, nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the
hand that feeds you; and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.