Guns Don’t Kill People, Junk Food Kills People!
Date: Jan 14, 2006 2:24 AM
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
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Daily Herald
Guns don’t kill people, junk food kills people

Chubby cellulite-laden children and adults are now the country’s number-one health concern. Yet cities are choosing to connect with UTOPIA which encourages people to cozy up to their computer cyberspace, cuddle on their couch cushions to watch cable and chit chat endlessly on their phone calls.

A better commitment of cash would be to contribute cardiovascular equipment to communities and to champion chores, calisthenics, cycling and the U.S. Constitution.

As for complaints about carrying concealed weapons on campuses, the public should be more concerned abut the abundance of chocolate, cookies, cake, candy, combo meals, cheese, carbonation, cigarettes, caffeine, carbohydrates and calories consumed by students. These foods not only contribute to cavities and cancer, but heart disease, which is the primary killer in the United States..

The good thing about firearms is that they are fat-free and have been proven to be 100 percent more effective in stopping criminals than a coconut-covered cupcake.

Janalee Tobias, South Jordan

This story appeared in The Daily Herald on page A5.