I think my licensing plan will reduce crime. It’s a diabolical stroke of genius.
My friends insist I haven’t a clue.

By Ralph Weller
CalNRA.org Contributing Editor

01 February, 2000 – I have succumbed to the call for more gun control. The constant beating of the drum-like message “we must keep guns out of the hands of criminals” has seeped its way into my once porous brain filling it with visions of peace on earth and safety for all. I’m particularly enamored with the concept of licensing gun owners. I think it can work.

In fact, I’m so thrilled with the thought, I’m preparing letters for California Assemblymember Shelley, Senator Perata and Governor Davis asking them to consider my proposal for licensing. I’m hoping my proposal will be more readily accepted by Shelley and Perata. They’ve been pushing for a licensing system recently. Governor Davis seems to get cold feet anytime someone brings the subject up, but I’m sure my proposal will get a fair shake.

Here’s my plan. Certain prospective gun buyers, not all, will be required to get a license with their picture on it. To get the license, the applicant must pass a background check. If successful, they will be issued a license for the mere fee of $100.00 giving them the privilege of purchasing a firearm. When the day comes to make a purchase, the license holder must present their license to the firearms dealer. They again must undergo a background check, as we all do today, followed by a ten day waiting period, as we do today as well. If they can pass the background check, they can purchase a firearm. If it’s a handgun, it’s registered with the California DOJ as all handguns have been done in California for the last couple of decades.

Sounds good doesn’t it? Shelley and Perata are saying that licensing will reduce crime. This is exactly why my proposal is such a stroke of genius. It would apply only to felons and those otherwise prohibited from possessing a firearm. What do you think? After all, if Shelley and Perata want to reduce crime, it only makes sense to require criminals to get a license and register their firearms. Just like that, we have instant crime reduction. Geez, I should have thought of this a long time ago. However, my plan is not without problems according to my so-called pro-gun friends.

They say I just don’t get it. Well, it’s actually worse than that. They say I’m nuts. They say the criminals won’t stand for it. They won’t have any part of! “But that’s the beauty of this program,” I replied. “Why bother to license everyone? Let’s just require criminals to get a license if they can pass the background check. We’ll save a lot of tax payer money and accomplish crime reduction,” I said confidently. One of my friends laughed sarcastically and said, “Licensing is designed for law-abiding citizens, not criminals Mr. Genius. Criminals can’t buy guns. They can’t pass the current background check system.” “So, what’s your point,” I asked? But before he could answer I continued. “Are you trying to tell me that criminals aren’t going to bother with a license? Are you saying their licensing proposals are designed for law-abiding citizens? That makes no sense at all.” I finally had enough of their criticizm and decided it was time to whine. “Why would anyone in their own right mind make law-abiding citizens get a license to purchase a firearm? Criminals aren’t affected by laws directed towards law-abiding citizens.” One of my friends looked at me with disdain and said, “You don’t get it, do you Weller? This is politics you moron. There’s no logic when it comes to politics, and quit your whining.”

“But it doesn’t make sense,” I whined on. “Why would anyone invent a licensing system to reduce crime when the only people required to get a license are law-abiding citizens?” The discussion ended with me muttering to myself trying to see the logic of it all. But….I don’t care what they say. I’m on to something here. I’m still going to send the letters. We’ll see who is nuts around here. Sacramento will embrace my idea because it makes so much sense. You’ll see.

“Quit talking to yourself and quit whining!”