Today the lawn service is mowing outside. I called my step-daughter over and pointed out one of the workers.

“See that guy with all the tattoos? Those are jail-house tattoos…..and his arms is covered in them! It takes a long time to do that many tats so he must be a serious scumbag!”

My 15 year old step-daughter, who knows everything about the world, rolled her eyes and said:

“You’re just paranoid! He must be ok, otherwise the lawn company wouldn’t have hired him!”

She hasn’t spoken to me since I started roaring with laughter!