The 12 Steps to Self-Defense

by Adrien Litton
===========================
Step 1: Car-jacker accosts victim in parking lot.

Step 2: Victim reaches in glove box for weapon.

Step 3: Remembering that weapons can not be “safely stored” in an
automobile glove box, victim pops trunk, exits car, and retrieves weapon
from trunk.

Step 4: Victim points weapon at car-jacker “Dirty Harry” style.

Step 5: Car-jacker patiently reminds victim that the weapon is not
loaded
because it would be illegal for victim to store ammunition with the
weapon
during transportation of said weapon (or at any other time, for that
matter).

Step 6: Victim sheepishly returns to glove box for ammunition.

Step 7: Car-jacker lights a cigarette and steps out of victims way.

Step 8: Victim loads weapon and points it at car-jacker “Angie
Dickinson”
style.

Step 9: Car-jacker reminds victim that victim forgot to remove trigger
lock
mechanism which was intended to prevent unauthorized minors from
accidentally breaking into both the trunk for the weapon and the glove
box
for the ammunition and then driving the car to school where they will be
compelled to shoot the unarmed security guard while trying to sneak the
contraband weapon through the school’s mandated-by-law metal detector.

Step 10: Car-jacker slides behind seat of car and drives off, snickering
to
himself as he looks in the rearview mirror at the boob with the handgun
who
is fumbling for the keys to the trigger lock mechanism, not realizing
that
they are still in the car.

Step 11: Car-jacker, not paying attention to the road because the boob
with
the handgun is simply too amusing, plows into a school bus that is
offloading children.

Step 12: Car-jacker and the parents of 14 children on the school bus sue
victim for medical and punitive damages because the maintenance schedule
on
the car was not properly adhered to.

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Found at Tom Bowers’ PIMGP GenBoard http://www.subguns.com