You’re a Grabber If…
How to Tell if You Should Apply for an HCI Internship
by dischord
(distribution permitted and encouraged)

1) You believe that “crisis” is a good word to describe a gun-related violence problem that has decreased nearly 50% in 7 years

2) You believe that a gun control law can be “merely inconvenient” but also “really tough”

3) You believe that millions of gun owners truly don’t care about their children’s safety.

4) You believe that a metal object has the power to turn otherwise law abiding people into raving maniacs, especially if they conceal that metal.

5) You believe we should entrust ourselves to police and soldiers who spend a lot of time around those mind-altering metal objects (oh, that’s why they wear hats all the time)

6) You believe that Switzerland and Israel are not industrialized nations

7) You believe that the only way to defend yourself with a gun is to kill someone

8) You believe that “Stop. Don’t Touch. Tell an Adult.” are very sinister sentences

9) You believe that gun owners are Aryan supremist male chauvinists, even the blacks and women, and especially that Jewish group

10) You believe that gun prohibition would work better that alcohol prohibition and drug prohibition

11) You believe that even if licensing and registration would do nothing and cost billions, it’s still the right thing to do

12) You believe that 19-year-old violent criminals are victimized children

13) You believe that sampling only homes where shootings occurred is a representative sampling of homes with guns

14) You believe that an increasing overall homicide rate but falling gun homicide rate in England proves that recent gun controls work

15) You believe that an increasing overall suicide rate but falling gun suicide rate in Australia proves that recent gun controls work

16) You believe that “concerned” and “correct” are synonyms

17) You believe that “if it saves just one life” is a valid ethical measure, but that gun ownership is morally wrong even if is save just one life

18) You believe that scary looks are a measure of a gun’s lethality

19) You believe that machine guns are semi-automatic weapons

20) You believe that “More Guns Less Crime” doesn’t seem right, so it must be wrong

21) You believe that calling Charlton Heston a bad actor has something to do with your cause

22) You believe that the NRA, which wrote the Brady law, is uncompromising

23) You believe that someone who exposes your statistics as invalid is mean spirited

24) You believe that Sara Brady is telling the truth because her husband was shot

25) You believe a law enacted after a gun death decline can cause the decline

26) You believe that this is a list of reasonable fact and are wondering why people think it’s funny